Can’t Do This Alone

On Anthony Bourdain and newfound fire

That first trip to Japan, with the friend who reminded me of my dream.

Within you there’s a vision of how life could be. Perhaps it’s the pursuit of what you loved as a kid. A unique curiosity or something as simple as a question, one like, why do these plants grow here?

Or how do you make clothes that look like that? Or what would make this taste better? Simple questions with answers complex enough to inspire a life.

The world will try to tell us what our dreams should be. What success should look like. A bigger house. Nicer car. More distractions. And maybe it takes getting those things to realize they won’t make us happy.

What will, if not make us happy, then instill our lives with meaning is following the path we know is ours. And how do we know? It’s hard to explain. It doesn’t make sense. It keeps us up at night. It won’t let go, this affinity.

But that affinity’s been blurred by the pressure of family, friends, society. It builds until the voice of them becomes the voice of us, and we, too, tell ourselves lies.

It’s childish, unrealistic, impossible.

We settle. And while our needs are met and on paper we’re successful and there’s even a smile on our face, there’s still that whisper that comes when we least expect. Removed from the routine or in the arms of…