A Friendly Face In Taipei

Maybe that’s all I’m here to be

Eating something delicious. Taipei, Taiwan.

I danced this morning in the hotel room with music on my speakers, rocking my head, watery eyes, ’cause I needed to tell myself that it’s gonna be alright. It’s alright to be frustrated and not know why. It’s alright to force the smile when you really wanna cry. But I carry on, I dance, time moves forward.

I can’t go back to where I was. I’m here now, and there’s no finish line, no celebration, no pat on the back. Is it getting better? The voice in my head, the friend in my heart, the light in my eyes?

Am I going somewhere — where?

Why am I here. What am I here to do. Is it to be somebody, be happy, or maybe just experience whatever happens?

I don’t know what will happen; I don’t want to let people down. I don’t want to give up. I’ve started something, I’ve started searching, I’ve started praying for my reason for being. Can that be it, a life spent searching without knowing, instead of settling for what we think we know.

I don’t know shit. But I think life is beautiful. I can’t tell why. Grungy city streets, navigating crowds of people, steam rising from Taipei food stalls, the joy derived from the taste of a scallion pancake.